Do Not See "The Grudge" *No Spoilers*

[Lord Worm]

I'm warning you right now: Don't see "The Grudge". You can rest assured you are better of with that shit. Why? Well, I can safely say that this was the scariest movie I have ever seen in my life. I thought I had some pretty huge balls walking into this movie. I thought I was going to handle it okay, I mean, it's from the same guys who made "The Ring", and I didn't think "The Ring" was that scary.

I walked into that movie a normal man, I left forever changed.

Basically, the story goes like this: There's a curse and a lot of people get fucked up in ways most vile. This is some grade "A" scary shit.

I though "Mothman Prophecies" was pretty scary. And it was, it was done very well. But I remember through that movie I thought: "Man, there's scary shit happening every 20 minutes in this movie."
Guess what? "The Grudge" is always scary. Just when you think its safe to unbury your head from your girlfriend's chest, it rapes you again.

This movie rapes you from start to finish. It's like constant group rape. When you think it's not scary, it's really just having a little mercy on your virgin ass.

This movie is practically sodomy.

I must admit, this movie scared the dick off me. Which tends to happen to a man when he screams like a little bitch in a movie theatre.

So don't see "The Grudge". Your heart and your underwear will thank you for it.


Side Note:

Sara Michelle Gellar was in this movie. I figure that as a reward for sitting through this movie (And still having balls left over to enjoy it), you should get to see her titties. That's the least they could do. The least they could do.

[fenderbass021]

omg i want to see this now, i laughed so hard at your review man i need to givce you rep for that shit

[HylianKWG]

I am going to see it tommorrow, I love Japanese horror. The original (Ju-on) was great.

[Blaksmoke]

Anal rape seems to be the theme in a lot of your reviews, Lord Worm....hmmm....

[r33hash]

Oh, I agree so much. I came home after seeing the late late showing, arriving back at around 2:30 AM. There was no fuckin way I was going to fall asleep. This movie is so much more dimented and jacked up than The Ring, they dont even compare. The storyline is difficult to follow at the beginning, but you get it toward the end.

We had the loud obnoxious guys sittin behind us...well, at the end of the movie, they werent sayin a damn word. One of them even said "See man, we shoulda gone to see that puppet movie. Im so scared now".

All in all, this movie is going to illicit a jump or seven out of you.

Oh, and you will hate cats afterward.

[Lord Worm]

"Oh, and you'll hate cats, too.


And little Japanese kids.

[Omega]

Pretty impressive props you're giving it, especially for a PG-13 movie. I thought Mothman was great so if you're saying this is better I'll take your word for it and check it out in the theater instead of downloading it.

[Michael Bluth]

I think it looks stupid. My woman wants to see it, but I'd rather see Team America or Saw.

[Sandman]

I want to see it! I haven't seen a truly scary movie (that doesn't only rely on suspense) in a long time. The Ring wasn't scary at all.

[Notedog]

Adam- Team America is definetly the better choice, but your girlfriend will break up with you for seeing it with her.

The Grudge was ok, would have been a lot betrter if people werent screaming whenever a door opened or some lame ass shit.

[Michael Bluth]

The Ring wasn't scary at all.

I thought The Ring sucked ass, which is why I am really weary of this movie.

[Hisham]

Hah, If you got scared of this, I hear the japanese version is much scarier. Just like with the ring.

[Michael]

I thought The Ring sucked ass, which is why I am really weary of this movie.
Wow, I'd never thought I'd agree with you one that, but the Ring did suck ass...but Saw is only ok so far, I'm watching it now.

[Flaccid Acid]

Wow, I saw this last night with a bunch of friends. All the girls in the theator where screaming
AT EVERY GOD DAMN PART.

Yes, even my friend sitting next to me had his head burried in his hands the whole time. Maybe im just weird but the only thing this movie made me do is jump a few times. Although everyone else in the theator seemed mortified by it. Cool movie, although im sick and tired about how stupid people in horror movies, and its always the japanize people in this movie that where dumbasses. "

"Oo0o0o a strange noise coming from the attic in this haunted house...LETS GO AND INVESTIGATEE!111 ^_^.

The americans just ran away when something freaky happened. Still, pretty good movie, just watch it with some friends in a dark room at night.

Oh yeah this movies only PG in canada, Whoop WHooop. Go canadas low .. rating... of... bad... stuff...

[r33hash]

Well, at the beginning, all you can do is call them dumbasses. People were laughing when that girl started to climb into the attic. But, as the movie progressed, everyone got more serious about watching the movie. I thought it was very very well put together, and the camera work was superb.

[Omega]

Go see Team America, Adam, pretty funny movie. It has some good conservative undertones encased in comedy.

[Kliq]

Im so gonna watch this Friday ... can't wait :)

[Ravster]

Ive seen the trailer of Team America and sure is funny :cycspin:

[TyBO]

Just when you think its safe to unbury your head from your girlfriend's chest, it rapes you again.
Haha... excellent review.

I am the offspring of parents who were scared by the movie Men in Black, so I don't fair to well with scary movies... runs in the family I suppose. So yes, I definately will not be seeing The Grudge. :)

[majik ninja]

When I first say MIB in theaters I crid at the beguining cause I got scared :(

All in all theres no way in hell I'm seeing this.

[bobo_ess]

I dunno. I got no money right now.

[Fiend]

It was a pretty good movie. Pretty creepy for a pg-13 movie, nothing that makes you jump up or twitch though.

[Viper]

Great review LW.

Finally, a scary movie. Movies just aren't scary anymore. The Ring was complete film fodder.

[Michael Bluth]

Oh shit close one. I was going to take the woman to see that tonight but because I read the board wrong I thought it was sold out, so we saw Napeleon Dynamite instead. And boy am I thankful.

[dncardman]

I do NOT like SCARY movies, why? Because they SCARE me.

[HylianKWG]

Great review LW.

Finally, a scary movie. Movies just aren't scary anymore. The Ring was complete film fodder.

The original Ring was alot better than the remake.

[Nights]

This movie was aweful!!!!

We laughed during how stupid it was and making fun of it outloud and people would laugh at our jokes... LAME

[r33hash]

Well, I respect your knowledge and ability to find info on the PSP, Nights, but your taste in movies sucks ass.

[Shotgun Plasma]

Lord Worm is right, anyone with faint of heart SHOULD NOT SEE THIS MOVIE, I saw it tonight about 3 hours ago and arrived here and tell you the warning: THIS MOVIE SCARE THE FUCK OUTTA MY SOUL!!!! Grudge is the most powerful movie than exocrist, ring, even ringu and mothman.

I sat down and eat my "snowflake candy" and sprite soda, EVERY DAMN PART SCARE ME, and guess what? They have to cancel the movie because one of the guy sit two row seat away from me (about 34 feet away) die of heart attack, I almost vomit on my soda, some girls freak out and run out like a monkeys looking for a killin time, seriously, they have to cancel the movie because of dead guy been laying there for 67 mins....damn didn't see the ending, will buy DVD so i can see the ending without AUDIO, THOSE DAMN "BOOMING" sound!

[Shotgun Plasma]

This movie was aweful!!!!

We laughed during how stupid it was and making fun of it outloud and people would laugh at our jokes... LAME


the movie is not LAME, not with a dead guy who sit two row away from me.

[r33hash]

Oh, you and your strange language and your double posts......I love you.

[Shotgun Plasma]

_l_>.<_l_

[Nights]

I didn't enjoy it at all. I did enjoy the Freedom Force movie or whatever it's called!!!

Maybe I'm just deminted...

Blair Witch project made me laugh the whole time too. Although a lot of people were freaked!

Rules of Attraction was kind of creepy but it's a different kind.

I enjoyed Final Destination 1 and 2 (although they didn't scare me really I just liked how they did it)

Pelican Brief - More suspense I guess that anything scared me... The seen with the rodent in the shack I JUMPED!

[C.J.]

It was scary, yes, but I have seen many more screwed up independent films.

[shadowrunner]

i cired when mufasa died in the lion king but i was only 5 at the time.

.....sorry.

anyway, havent heard of this movie, what kindo f scary?like suspense scary or grousome scary?

[r33hash]

suspense scary, more than gruesome. Its only rated PG-13. I loved it though.

And Blair Witch was ghey. Completely

[Relient J]

The Grudge is not the scarriest movie I've ever seen. And it makes absolutely no sense. Generally when it comes to scary movies, I tend to expect them to have poor plots. After all, a solid plot is not what sells a horror film. My rule of thumb with horror films is that it's successful if it scares me, which The Grudge did, sort of. So it was semi-successful in that sense. But it made so little sense that the suspension of disbelief never occurred for me. The concept of scary things jumping out of shadows is easy to play off of, but this movie just makes no sense, and relies on a disjointed timeline to appear arty. In my opinion, it failed.

[The_Cat]

I thought it was a good Halloween flick. I might have found it a little scarier if I wasn't laughing so hard at my wife. I have never seen anybody jump so high out of their seat lol! The Ring is a much better movie, but the Grudge was still worth my money.