TyBO
01-20-2005, 02:10 AM
... a script for a TV sitcom! I was bored the other day and I thought it would be fun to try. Keep in mind, I barely write stories of my own, and I've never tried something like this, so if it sucks, feel free to tell me. I can accept brutal honesty. :D
Some side notes: This is (obviously) far from finished. I had Homer's dad from the Simpsons in mind when I made the Grandpa character. Also, I know the idea of this taking place in an ice skating rink seems a little random, but I went to a skating rink with my friends a couple weeks ago and that's where I got the idea.
TyBO's Simpson's-esque Television Sitcom!
[Characters enter Ice skating rink]
Whiny Grandpa – For Gods sake! Who turns on the AC when it’s 41 degrees outside?
[Characters look around]
Random small girl on the ice – Wheee! Mommy, daddy, look! [spins around], one day I’m going to be beautiful figure skater!
[Parents smile, tear of joy trickles down mothers face]
[Zamboni drives by and runs over little girl. Girl pops her head up and has a horribly disfigured face]
Zamboni Guy – Damn! That’s the fifth one this hour. I’m never going to get a bloody raise!
Girls Father – [full of anger] HEY! What on earth are you doing! That’s my daughter you just hit!
[camera pans to zambony’s face, which is also horribly disfigured]
Zamboni Guy - Sorry bout that pal… lemme guess, she wanted to be a beautiful figure skater? Yeah, so did I when I was her age…
[new scene. Grandpa enters a skater lounge/ snack food area]
Grandpa – Why does everyone hide their damn thermostats from me? [Notices the snack bar] Well I guess a little grub wouldn’t hurt this old man… except they took out half my bladder after getting shot in the war, so now I can’t drink more than a liter of liquid a day or else it will explode… and I get ulcers when I eat more than 55 calories worth of food now… and I could run the risk of having my last real tooth decay because I haven’t brushed in 3 years… and sometimes my…
Guy Behind the Counter – Are you gonna buy something gramps, or what?
Grandpa – Hey, who the hell are you?
Guy Behind Counter – [Slaps forehead] Alright look, [points to sign on countertop] this is what we gots fer sale here. If you’re not buying anything, then scram… there are plenty of other hungry customers waiting in line behind you. [Grandpa turns around and sees a disgustingly skinny and weak man behind him]
Skinny Man – Please sir, will you let me buy something now? I have spent the last 4 months lost at sea in an inflatable raft, with nothing to eat except my own bare flesh! I feel that if I do not eat very soon, I will die of starvation.
Grandpa – Well you might as well start writing your will! I got here first! Now let’s see [glances over the list of foods]. Ahh, Nutter Butter… no snack stand is complete without Nutter Butters. Price… 75 cents. 75 CENTS?!?! Oh I get it, just because you guys have the only snack stand in this whole damn place, you think you have the right to jack the prices up to exorbitant amounts! [Guy behind counter snickers] THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER!! Why, I should sue you greedy jerks for having a monopoly… no, I have a better idea! I’ll open up my own snack stand right next door! One that sells its food at competitive prices! We’ll see who’s the one laughing then, and in case you don’t know, I’ll give you a hint: it’s NOT going to be that guy sitting over there! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! [exits room, sinister laughing fades to silence]
Guy Behind Counter – Uhh… next please.
[skinny man lies dead on the ground, will in hand]
-----------------------------------
[EDIT] Oops... I meant to put this in Literary Discussion. Meh, I guess it could really go in either board.
Some side notes: This is (obviously) far from finished. I had Homer's dad from the Simpsons in mind when I made the Grandpa character. Also, I know the idea of this taking place in an ice skating rink seems a little random, but I went to a skating rink with my friends a couple weeks ago and that's where I got the idea.
TyBO's Simpson's-esque Television Sitcom!
[Characters enter Ice skating rink]
Whiny Grandpa – For Gods sake! Who turns on the AC when it’s 41 degrees outside?
[Characters look around]
Random small girl on the ice – Wheee! Mommy, daddy, look! [spins around], one day I’m going to be beautiful figure skater!
[Parents smile, tear of joy trickles down mothers face]
[Zamboni drives by and runs over little girl. Girl pops her head up and has a horribly disfigured face]
Zamboni Guy – Damn! That’s the fifth one this hour. I’m never going to get a bloody raise!
Girls Father – [full of anger] HEY! What on earth are you doing! That’s my daughter you just hit!
[camera pans to zambony’s face, which is also horribly disfigured]
Zamboni Guy - Sorry bout that pal… lemme guess, she wanted to be a beautiful figure skater? Yeah, so did I when I was her age…
[new scene. Grandpa enters a skater lounge/ snack food area]
Grandpa – Why does everyone hide their damn thermostats from me? [Notices the snack bar] Well I guess a little grub wouldn’t hurt this old man… except they took out half my bladder after getting shot in the war, so now I can’t drink more than a liter of liquid a day or else it will explode… and I get ulcers when I eat more than 55 calories worth of food now… and I could run the risk of having my last real tooth decay because I haven’t brushed in 3 years… and sometimes my…
Guy Behind the Counter – Are you gonna buy something gramps, or what?
Grandpa – Hey, who the hell are you?
Guy Behind Counter – [Slaps forehead] Alright look, [points to sign on countertop] this is what we gots fer sale here. If you’re not buying anything, then scram… there are plenty of other hungry customers waiting in line behind you. [Grandpa turns around and sees a disgustingly skinny and weak man behind him]
Skinny Man – Please sir, will you let me buy something now? I have spent the last 4 months lost at sea in an inflatable raft, with nothing to eat except my own bare flesh! I feel that if I do not eat very soon, I will die of starvation.
Grandpa – Well you might as well start writing your will! I got here first! Now let’s see [glances over the list of foods]. Ahh, Nutter Butter… no snack stand is complete without Nutter Butters. Price… 75 cents. 75 CENTS?!?! Oh I get it, just because you guys have the only snack stand in this whole damn place, you think you have the right to jack the prices up to exorbitant amounts! [Guy behind counter snickers] THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER!! Why, I should sue you greedy jerks for having a monopoly… no, I have a better idea! I’ll open up my own snack stand right next door! One that sells its food at competitive prices! We’ll see who’s the one laughing then, and in case you don’t know, I’ll give you a hint: it’s NOT going to be that guy sitting over there! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! [exits room, sinister laughing fades to silence]
Guy Behind Counter – Uhh… next please.
[skinny man lies dead on the ground, will in hand]
-----------------------------------
[EDIT] Oops... I meant to put this in Literary Discussion. Meh, I guess it could really go in either board.