Musings, Rants, and Many Other Things From a Writing Assassin

[Pro A.]

February 24, 2005

Hi, I'm Chris, and most of you know me as Pro A. I decided to write some entries on writing and maybe you can learn something from these or maybe you'll think of me as a wild, crazy hack who will end up like Hunter S. Thompson. Oh, Lord, I hope not. Anyways, let's get started. My time is more valuable than yours.

The Short Story

The short story is that elusive craft these days that is getting harder and harder to find. Yeah, sure, we have the annual Best American Short Stories and so on, and occasionally you get a really good author like Stephen King or Elmore Leonard who will produce an anthology just for you, the good reader, but for the most part writers don't give a flying fuck about writing a story that could be put together using thirty napkins.
Why?
I don't know. I wrote a lot more short stories when I was learning the game. Most of that came from the fact that I didn't know how to write anything longer than fifty pages. Now, I can push for a thousand. Every now and then, usually once a season, I will get a fun idea that has to be produced in a short story or else it'll look like I'm milking a cow to death seven or eight times over.
Short stories are hard to write because they have to be very condensed and they have to get the point across in a limited amount of space. That one theme that is crying to be released from your heart has to come out and it has to be hit with a sledgehammer. No subtle crap will get the writer out of this one. The story is usually in fine shape because it comes first.
I admit that my condensed ideas did not come across very well. I'm very good with condensing, too, but not to this degree. I stopped trying so hard after a while and just let them come to me. Usually, my short stories would serve as a good pre-title sequence to a Bond movie. Just one action scene that provides a good message and a good theme. Five thousand words and three hours later, I'm done and happy.
How long does a short story have to be?
"Write until you're done."
But I'm a prissy little bastard and I need a word count or I'll die of fear.
"Alright, alright, ya dumb asshole. 10,000 or less is usually good enough. Any longer than that and you're barging straight into the novella, the most elusive of the three fiction crafts, but that's another story for another day and I have a fantasy baseball draft in thirty-five minutes."
Writing a short story is difficult. You have to let the idea come to you, seduce you, and then you have to be patient writing it. Remember how I said that I wrote five thousand words in three hours and then I was done? That was a half-truth. Usually, I do three or four rewrites and condense it. This 5,000-word whopper that I wrote, mercilessly pounding on the keyboard like I am now, is usually a thousand words lighter thanks to the Atkins Diet by the time I'm done. Cutting the fat. When I'm done, especially of late, it is a lean, mean, fighting machine and ready to stand up to the world.
So, if you want to write a short story, just remember this. Be patient and let the story command the theme. Story first. The rest of the bullshit your High School English teacher taught you comes second.
Until we meet again, or until I'm writing on another caffeine high...

[Viper]

Chris, have you ever read Jeffery Deaver? He released a collection of his short stories last year called Twisted. He wrote an introduction to it that almost reads exactly as wrote you just wrote. I think you'd enjoy them as a writer and just as its namesake, they are extremely plot twisted.

[Pro A.]

I actually read that foreword one day at the bookstore and I thought, yeah, this little bastard is on the money. God bless him.

[Viper]

Worth every penny spent on both the book and the unabridged CD collection. The CD's come with a bonus story and are read by some of the best narrators I've ever heard and I have lots of books on media.

I haven't read many other short stories though. As you said, most authors avoid them like some kind of virus.

[Pro A.]

Stephen King is really good and he has four anthology collections or so. He's my pick.

[Pro A.]

February 25, 2005

The Value of Reading

There are two cardinal rules in writing that everyone should follow. Read a lot and write a lot. The latter is subjective. It is a matter of personal comfort and feel. The former is not subjective. There is no interpretation. You either read until your brain fizzles into nothing or you give up the game and sulk into the cesspool of talent that you have to begin with and be bloody grateful you even have that.

In order to study the craft of writing, it would make a lot of sense for one to learn it by reading as much as you can and studying from all ends of the spectrum. There are thousands of books out there and all of them have lessons to teach. They are crying to be read and you should be more than willing to pay the piper. Doesn’t matter if you toss some dough at the local Barnes and Noble or if you check out ten from the local library. Read to learn the craft.

Now, if I’m making this sound like a study exercise, (Boo! To hell with studying) my apologizes. You should read because you want to read. The fact that you get to learn something from it is another bonus. You learn quite a lot about the reader if he is able to keep you turning the pages well into the night and then some. The best writers have this allure to keep the reader interested and to hook you from the get-go. John Grisham, Dan Brown, and Robert Ludlum all do it, and they do it in different styles. It is a good way to learn the process of writing by reading all different kinds of writing. Doesn’t matter if you write science fiction. Pick up a novel by Agatha Christie. Diversifying what you read will help you learn as a writer and it will improve your craft. The more you read, the more you learn. Sounds a bit old hat and I’m very sorry for that. I’ll go punish myself by putting my hand in scalding water. Better get off the tangent before the bloodshed kicks in…

I have grown tired already of people telling me that they wish they had the time to read. Folks, you have plenty of time. You just don’t know how to use it. If you really want to write, you had better start making some time or you’re sunk as a writer. People that don’t very much don’t write very well. Simple as that. Find an hour or two each night and get comfortable in a sofa or wherever. For all I care, you can read while taking a crap. Do it, and let the magic open before you.

[goku2057]

Too true. I don't really read that much though. But iI write tons.

[Jon]

Ray Bradbury is my favorite short story author.

[Pro A.]

Yes, Ray Bradbury, still kicking at whatever age he's at, is another excellent short story author, but more of a cult figure these days.

[Pro A.]

February 26, 2005

Dialogue

Writing dialogue, no matter what the craft, is a very challenging art to grasp and few writers have the ability to do it at a high level. Dialogue can help capture the realism of what you are trying to write about, but if it is done poorly you can be in for a world of hurt and you'll be laughed at, and that is if you're lucky.

From experience, I have found that the best dialogue writers come from the mystery genre. They are the ones that are able to speak with the most honesty and they get down and dirty with their characters. Small surprise that the best dialogue writers are Elmore Leonard, James Ellroy, Raymond Chandler, and George V. Higgins.

The weakest come from the sci-fi/horror genre. Lovecraft alone takes the whole genre down a couple of notches. The problem is that they don't try hard, the problem may come from trying too hard. I have seen it all too often. They try to make it too formal, too fancy, and it winds up coming across as one-dimensional and stilted. They sound like they have a stick up their ass and they're being forced to spew every word like they're constipated. Whatever strengths they have as storytellers, these geeks seem to have the problem of speaking well.

How can one become a good dialogue writer? The best method of sharpening your dialogue skills is to just listen to people talk. If you keep your mouth shut and your ears open you are bound to learn something great. The best writers of dialogue also like to be with people. Writers like Lovecraft that write dialogue badly are often alone and isolated. So, go to a public place and keep the ears open. You do it for a while and apply it down to paper and the results might surprise you. If you don't, you'll end up being like that guy in Rear Window. Maybe worse. Let us hope that you can survive the epidemic.

[Pro A.]

February 27, 2005

Style

Yes, every writer has it, even the hacks. I'm not a hack, at least, I don't think so. If I were, I suppose someone would have told me by now. I'm either not one or they're too afraid to tell me. Break my egocentric heart and all of that shit. I don't know. I've always suspected the latter, but maybe I'm just denying whatever talent I have. Both are wrong, but what are you gonna do?

Style is, and I'm probably oversimplifying it, the way a writer writes. It is how the writer jumps from point A to point B to point C. This includes the way a story is told, the narrative style, the way the characters are developed, and just the overall prose of the whole thing. I have never used prose in my life and I will be damned if I start now.

Every writer has a different approach to the game. There are two different ways to writing. One is stylistic imitation. Don't feel bad if you start writing like your favorite author, picking up on their style. Nothing wrong with it. This is how you develop your writing. Your learn their approach and you apply little pieces of it to what you already have. I can't think of anyone else, so I'll use me as an example. Yes, I am such an egotistical fuck, but I'm the best example you'll have, so work with me for a minute, please.

When I started, I wrote with a pretty stripped down sort of approach. I liked writing fast, hard, and with a lot of emphasis on action. That has changed somewhat over the years as I have matured, but the fundamentals are still there. As time went by, I started adding little tricks and little style moves to help improve my writing. And no, very little of it, if any, comes from Tom Clancy. Just wanted to get that out. I've had that comparison before and it drives me insane, but that is another topic for another day.

Over the years, I have taken the dialogue styles of both Dennis Lehane and Elmore Leonard.

I have learned from the narrative style of authors like Stephen King and John Le Carre.

The action sequences of authors like Jack Higgins.

The exotic setting from Ian Fleming and Robert Ludlum.

Little pieces. That's all it is. Their approach to each of these little portions has been infused by me. In their style, I try to work with it in my own writing while keeping the base down.

The one style writers should avoid is writing a book just like their favorite author. Don't write a book that is very close to an author like Stephen King, John Grisham, and so on. Its borderline plagirism, for one thing, and you learn nothing from writing an imitation of their work. This is why I have held a grudge against fan fiction. You really need to set out and learn on your own, and taking someone else's world isn't going to do it.

One trick I do recommend trying. Try re-writing word for word a short story from another author. Don't try and sell it, but try and get a feel for how this author wrote. You might learn what not to do.

Just a thought.

[Pro A.]

March 2, 2005

The Adverb

Yes, I believe we all know what this is and most of us have used it in our lives, even me. The adverb, just to refresh your memory, is used to enhance a verb. Most writers like to use this as a way to make something more defined.

Ex: He moved angrily.

Now, if I were to hold a class on writing, which I would love to do, I would have a very short list of commandments. At the very top would be "Thou Shalt Not Use Adverbs".

"Noooooo!" the writer says.

Yes, the adverb is not your friend, especially when it comes down to dialogue attribution. If the writer in my class uses something like "he said smartly" I would flunk them on the spot. It's bad enough using dialogue attirbution in the first place, but sometimes you're stuck with it. Writers should be staying invisible when they are telling the story. There should be only two words that come out of a writer's pen or keyboard. The first word should be the person speaking the dialogue and the second word should be said.

By using an adverb, you make the whole sentence sound passive, which is another thing a writer should not do, and it makes you look like a chicken. The dialogue and the scene should be doing all of the talking. If the writer cannot get the emotion, then the reader is very dumb or you're a shit dialogue writer. The best dialogue writers like Elmore Leonard and Ernest Hemingway wouldn't be caught dead using an adverb. They feel boxed in sometimes, but they know that in 99 times out of 100 they will resist the temptation. I used to be an ordinary sinner of this commandment, but then I learned how not to use it after reading Elmore Leonard's 10 rules of writing, and he was on the money. J.K. Rowling, as talented of an author and writer as she is, goes overboard with the adverbs in the dialogue attribution, and it seems to weaken the punch she is trying to make.

The adverb is handy, but only in rare spots. I try to limit my adverbs to maybe 150 times for every 100,000 words. I try not to use it in the narrative, but there are times when duty calls and you have to unlock the beast from its cell and feed it. The times that I do use them come in action scenes when the pace demands it, but the dialogue does not help from a fucking adverb. If you are confident in your dialogue skills, you won't need the adverb. Sci-fi and fantasy writers are by far the worst at dialogue and that is why you see their stories littered with adverbs. For those of you that read my material on this website, I will wager the lot and then some that I have never once used an adverb in dialogue attribution, and I'll bet that you can get the general idea of what I'm trying to say anyways.

So, go forth, young writer, and avoid the adverb or you will burn in hell for your sins.