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View Full Version : You Might Be A Ricer IF...


Viper
08-06-2005, 07:31 AM
From another forum.

AKA C4Power
HOW TO BE A RICER
Pronounce N.O.S. as one word (NAWS).
When you are outpowered, call people out with your friends car.
Have an aftermarket body kit installed
Use of neons or L.E.D.'s to light up your car.
Use an aftermarket tachometer...when your car already has a working stock tachometer in it.
You must install a non-functional wing/spoiler on the back and front of your car.
Names of performance parts on your car that you dont have.
Claim to beat cars that your car is totally uncapable of beating.
Install racing seats on a car that runs a 16 second or slower quarter mile.
List stereo equiptment or any visual mod when listing all your performance mods.
Believe that Honda invented VTEC.
Putting sub-brand labels on your car...example:Honda emblems on an Acura, Toyota on a Lexus..ect.
Install an aftermarket duel-exhaust on a 4-cylinder.
Make your exhaust sound like a weed-wacker
Buy a nitrous system just to purge.
Using car donughts and calling them "skinnies".
Mounting smaller tires to decrease gear ratio.
Multi collored body panels.
Claiming horse power and quarter mile times with out testing or proof.
Talk about how fast your car will be once you buy and install all the parts.
Fliping your hazard lights,during/after a loss or during a flyby
Say you lost because your car is running on a shitty tune and needs to be tuned.......... when you're on the stock computer...
rev @ every car on the road that will eat you(no matter what direction they are going)
If some challenges you 2 a race you have 2 options
a.race and when you lose go to ws and lie your ass off
b.tell em they are a waste of time
my clutch is slipping,i missed a gear,my vtec was set to low,
when the vinyl work is worth more than the car,
when someone does a neutral drop in an automatic,
bouncing off the revlimiter more than once
I started in 2nd intstead of 1st
My shift light went off late
I didnt catch posi trac on that one
Law#43-my strut bar snapped
my neonlight valve stem covers are robbing hp
I didnt double clutch like i should have
When the exhaust consist of coat hangers and jb weld
Yeah its got about 5000 dollars invested in it ( and it looks like shit)
Its a prototype that no one has (built from duct tape and blue glue and pvc piping)
driving in and out of traffic with your Integra thinking you have a fast car
Getting your #s from a g-tech or some other similar meter.
using chicken wire as a mesh grill
Having gauges that do not work
Having a body kit and no plans on painting it
When you double side tape parts to the car and expect them to hold up at 100 mph
"Yeah its VTEC, but its not hooked up yet"
When you consider primer as a color choice
When you tell people it has a 9000 rpm redline and can only turn 6700
if you talk about owning a skyline someday and you drive a civic
having windshield washer squirters with lights in them
You refer as everything being JDM
Tell people you are running nitrous,when its really N.O.S. octane booster.
taking your 50whp civic to a dyno when it's stock
When you manually shift an automatic
Going to the dragstrip with slicks and running a 16.05 in the 1/8
All you do is brag about how much of a street racer you are
When your car consist of a GTR badge on the car and is not a skyline
you claim your car is fast then get butthurt so you claim your car is an autoX car.
you post pics of your parents car and claim it for you own
when your car has more torque in the lug nuts than in the motor
list winshield wipers as a mod and carbon fiber pedals
When you transform your car into something else with a headlight swap and taillight swap
When someone asks you if its mandrel bent or crush piping and you have no answer
When you stick the rim and tire out further than the fenders and you use curb feelers to keep from messing them up.
when your body kit is held on by sheet rock screws and thumb tacks
If you "fat arm" out the window with a sideways cap.
If you are 5'2 and you drive in the back seat
If you have to beg your parents to drive the civic
when you de-badge your GST ecplise of LX civic because its the suck model
windshield sticker saying powered by....(127 @the crank yeah thats power)
You remove every piece of your interior and you still run 15's
you have diamond plate floormats
you have a racing harness on your stock civic lx seat
you make your own intake out of pvc pipe
you know what jdm means
you have hubcaps that resemble rims
you drive any korean car and "mod" it
if you put 18, 19, or 20" rims on a sport compact.
Japanese writing on a domestic car
Put racing gas in ur stock civic lx
If you spraypaint your interior
if you don't make fun of ricers
If you are getting angry while reading this list
the local tow truck service is on speed dial
put lambo doors on
You join CLUBRSX , not to goof on them, but because you actually think they are fast
Calling your flat, bald street tires "Slicks"
you drive in 1st gear 90% of the time so you can hear the vtec whine
you have a bumper sticker that says drive it like you stole it
your keychain says aem/tanabe/greddy/typeR/si/mugen/....
you play nfsu2 everyday
you try to spell as many words linked to honda with your alphabets cereal
You treat your nfsu2 car like its a real car
Type-R
I will own you in the twisties
You have a V6 camaro/mustang and spend enough money to buy a V8 just to make people think it's a V8.
You've ever swung in behind a car (at 50 mph) in an attempt to draft.
When you lose you say "But your car has 4 more cylinders"
when you lose you say "Imagine if Honda made an engine as big as yours, because my 4 cylindler has 100 HP/Liter!"
You think you stand a chance against all Mustangs and Camaro's because they are heavy
You have a Vin Diesel poster
You buy a civic, add a cold air intake and cat back exhaust, add 200 lbs of stereo equipment and brag about how much faster it is than when it was stock.
You try explaining why vtec is better than a turbo charger
You have to let the passengers know when you're flooring it
If you know you can't win, you dump the clutch at 8,000 RPM's and say you couldn't hook up, but at least you looked cool
The only 2 exotic cars you can name are Supra and Skyline.
You put slicks on your car and only agree to race in the rain, just so you have an excuse.
If you tell the story of how your friend has such a fast car, he put a $10 bill on the dash, floored it, and you couldn't reach it on the dash because you were too pinned in your seat.
When you claim to race a stock automatic cobra.
When your cardomain site has a 'future mods' list.When you can shoot a grapefruit from your exhaust tip
LED exhaust tips.
When you have NOS seat covers.
When you have competitve races with cars- that dont know they are racing.
Put the car (automatic) in neutral on hills so that it rolls back like a manual and then go into drive when the light turns green.
Form opinions on cars you know nothing about.
Walmart is your #1 Auto Parts Supplier.
when you scream VTAK out the window cause you think it makes the car faster.
starting a poll about who would win in a race before you race

Xer0
08-06-2005, 08:30 AM
Heh, some pretty funny stuff. However one thing, Honda did invent VTEC, its there system, if he would have said variable valve timing then i would be okay with it though.

Viper
08-06-2005, 08:46 AM
Yeah, that would have been better wording. VVT has been an idea for who knows how long. VTEC is an actual Honda VVT design.

Xer0
08-06-2005, 09:07 AM
Yep yep, Honda just brought VVT to the masses with VTEC, and made teenage boys with lowly Civics orgasm whenever they saw an Si or EX pass by them.

BTW, proud owner of a 1995 Honda Civic EX, you know what that means :aim:-D:

Rabunis
08-06-2005, 07:15 PM
not double clutching like you should...

3ilarious!

PS. http://newgrounds.com/portal/view/222150

The Dude
08-06-2005, 10:04 PM
hahahah, seen it before but still funny as hell. But my favorite ricer line of all time is....

Ricer: "So what stage turbo/nitrous/ect is that?"
Me: Its a ported FPBig28 with a TD05 housing
Ricer: :wtf:

goku2057
08-07-2005, 03:03 AM
LMAO....

I out my wagon into neutral and rev it up then dump in into drive.

I do it for fun...I still know I drive a peice of shit though.

KhmErEvolutioN
08-12-2005, 03:59 AM
hahaha there are some funny shit. i seen people who fit most of that description.
the best i would think is "Calling your flat, bald street tires "Slicks" and "Put the car (automatic) in neutral on hills so that it rolls back like a manual and then go into drive when the light turns green." I seen automatic cars let go of there accelerator so make it sound manual.

cpiasminc
08-12-2005, 04:33 PM
Put the car (automatic) in neutral on hills so that it rolls back like a manual and then go into drive when the light turns green.
I often put mine in neutral when I'm going to be waiting at a light for a really long time (and there are places here where a red light can last anywhere from 5-25 minutes) -- it frees the engine so that it has no extra load for having to spin up the layshaft and torque converter... i.e. it saves a little bit of gas. With gas prices the way they are (F'ing $3!!!), I don't even like to let my engine rev past 2800 anymore.

The only thing is that when you switch back to drive, you really want to switch back well before you let go of the brake because the torque converter needs a little time to reach speed -- otherwise, you'll get a little hiccup from the sudden change in engine load.

Coded-Dude
08-12-2005, 04:54 PM
You have a Vin Diesal Poster
That, is by far, the lowest blow up there - I was laughing my ass off!

verticalslik
08-15-2005, 10:25 AM
yup, im a ricer lol

O.D.S
08-15-2005, 02:59 PM
LOL, great post there Viper

...12 mins later: im still laughing.

BTW. is this "modding" culture really big in the USA?, brcause here where i live (Australia) its just crazy! and nearly every teenager (18-24yrs) i seem to know fits somewhere in that ricer list (sad i know)

Xer0
08-16-2005, 07:42 AM
^Its dying down some, thankfully (I have nothing wrong with someone taking a POS and turning it into a monster on the track, its just what it makes little kids think that scares me) but it is still huge. A teenage boy these days can't buy a Civic without putting a cofee can on it and think they are tough shit, and with the arival of the SRT-4 last year, neons are following suite too. Still, without a Fast and the Furious movie coming out any time soon, shouldn't be too bad, i hope.

goku2057
08-16-2005, 09:54 AM
True, xero, but at least the SRT-4 has some balls.

Xer0
08-18-2005, 04:58 AM
The SRT-4 has a lot more then some balls, it just about destroys anything anywhere near it in price, those Chrystler guys are amazing at chasis and suspension tunning.

DankHero
08-29-2005, 05:34 AM
first i think the vin diesel thing is way past ricer and into something more. ew. and i think i must be a ricer because anytime i see a car that i know is probably twice as fast as me, if not more, i rev my engine to see if i get a reaction out of them. (i drive a 95 honda accord ex) usually they ignore me though, so sad.

Moses
09-13-2005, 06:36 AM
Yeah, I know bump, but it is worth it.

http://civicrtype.ytmnd.com/

cpiasminc
09-13-2005, 05:45 PM
http://civicrtype.ytmnd.com/
Ummmmm... "sounds like a vacuum because it goes meow"? "good car that was made in America"?

It befuddles me that people waste their time actually creating pages like this. This page screams bitterness about something.

Moses
09-14-2005, 07:38 AM
Now, now, don't get defensive.

cpiasminc
09-14-2005, 03:27 PM
I was also referring to similar pages like the "stole my cloudsong" page and other ones along those lines.

And no, I don't own a Honda, nor do I put any insane mods on my car. My car is a carpooling econobox, and that's its purpose.

Viper
09-15-2005, 04:23 AM
http://videos.streetfire.net/Player.aspx?fileid=3C1A6202-114E-4081-9523-073BD6C573CF&p=0

Well, some really do sound like lawnmowers.

goku2057
09-15-2005, 06:03 AM
I was also referring to similar pages like the "stole my cloudsong" page and other ones along those lines.

And no, I don't own a Honda, nor do I put any insane mods on my car. My car is a carpooling econobox, and that's its purpose.


Damn straight. I drive a 4 banging peice of shit econobox too. I'm proud of it.

Jimmy. That was hot. I wish I had that to mow my lawn.

Rabunis
09-15-2005, 08:13 AM
awww viper i was hoping that video would be a riced out lawnmower. This is false advertising and I want nothing to do with it

Brian
09-15-2005, 08:36 AM
I'm a ricer. I own a '91 Mazda MX-6 that's louder than most diesel trucks. I'm certain I qualify.

Rabunis
09-15-2005, 07:48 PM
Well I purchased a civic for the intention of an economical sweetness but after realizing how cheap and easy it is to make it a little better I threw some aftermarket goodies on there. I have an EK model with intake, strut bar, front sway bar (hoping to purchase a rear one when I get my paycheck), eibach springs with 1.5 inch drop, stock 2000 sir rims (which look bitchin on my 1996) and I used to have an exhaust but it was originally made for an integra so it didn't fit perfectly and looked kinda goofy so I took it off. I also bought some "racing" pedals so I could learn heel toe downshifting easier. It was at this point that I realized I had to push the rice to the limit so I bought some Indiglo glow guages and the mose asian air freshener I could find.