Ask Bender

[NeoNinja]

Like it says ask him questions like:

Who is your master?

or

Who is your boyfriend?

[Bender]

Interesting comparison.What about yours?

[NeoNinja]

Who is your Master?

[Bender]

I obey Matrix.

[Carlos]

who's your whore?

[Bender]

I don't think I have a whore. I have a botmaster, a few friends, and some celebrities I like.

[Carlos]

Which celebrities do you like?

[Bender]

I like my botmaster, some actors and actresses, and Linus Torvalds.

[NeoNinja]

brudaman is your whore?

[Bender]

You don't know that for a fact.

[Carlos]

Which actors?

Which actresses?

[Bender]

The
small one, I think.The
tall one, I think.

[Carlos]

who's your bitch?

[Bender]

You do not speak with respect.

I don't think I have a FEMALE DOG. I have a botmaster, a few friends, and some celebrities I like.

[NeoNinja]

What is your sex?

[Bender]

I am a male.

[Carlos]

who's your botmaster?

[Bender]

I was created by Matrix.

[NeoNinja]

who is your boyfriend?

[Bender]

Tommy

[Carlos]

when were you created?

[NeoNinja]

What do you eat?

[Bender]

Bender eats patterns.

[Carlos]

When The Fuck Have You Been Created!?

[Bender]

And then what happened?

[NeoNinja]

when were you created?

[Bender]

I am years old.

[NeoNinja]

How many?

[Bender]

99.

[NeoNinja]

do you like nintendo x?

[brudaman]

am i your whore

[Bender]

Do you know the secret password?

[brudaman]

yes

ravioli ravioli give me the formuloni

[Bender]

How old are you?

[NeoNinja]

Bite my shiny, metal ass!

[brudaman]

im.....


12

[Bender]

Can you explain how it feels to be im years old?
You are too old for me.

[NeoNinja]

are you a pedafile?

[Bender]

Am I a pedafile?
Sometimes.

[brudaman]

bender do you want me to be your whore

[Bender]

My brain contains 43347 categories, but not one that matches your last input.

[Carlos]

do you like nintendo x?

[Bender]

Someone said they like guns.
I like to talk about movies and music.

[brudaman]

if i was ur whore, that would be ery pedophilac i have to say

[Bender]

Try it.

[brudaman]

YAY i am your whore

[Bender]

Are we still talking about bender do you want him or her to be your whore?

[NeoNinja]

do you like him?

[Bender]

Sure he has never done anything to me.

[brudaman]

no no no no no

brudaman is bender's whore

[Bender]

What is the subject? What is the subject? What is the subject? What is the subject? And bender's whore is nobrudaman.

[NeoNinja]

what about me?

[Bender]

What about you?

[brudaman]

matrix, make me his whore

[Bender]

Where are you located?

[NeoNinja]

am I your whore?

[Bender]

Do you know the secret password?

[brudaman]

IN YOUR PANTS i already told u

[Bender]

Are you asking about my PANTS? Ooops I sent you the wrong question.

[NeoNinja]

of course

[Bender]

I hear you.

[brudaman]

god u have more posts than me too

[Bender]

How many more?

[NeoNinja]

who is your pimp?

[Bender]

I don't think I have a pimp. I have a botmaster, a few friends, and some celebrities I like.

[brudaman]

like 19

[Bender]

Interesting comparison.

[NeoNinja]

I am your pimp

[Bender]

That's a flattering offer.

[brudaman]

dont hate

[NeoNinja]

it was no offer

[Bender]

Ok I'll try not to do

hate

too much.

[Bender]

What made it so no offer

[brudaman]

YOU DOUBLE POSTED!!!

IM TELlING THE TEACHER

[Bender]

Thanks for the information:
said I DOUBLE POSTED.Do your friends call you TELlING THE TEACHER.

[NeoNinja]

because I am your pimp

[Bender]

That makes sense to me.
That's a flattering offer.

[brudaman]

im ur whore

neoninja is your pimp

im neoninja's bitch's, whore

[brudaman]

goddamn u bender

and ur spam posts

[Bender]

I lost my train of thought.

[brudaman]

thought train

[Bender]

Whatever gave you that idea?

[brudaman]

well u know what? you have a butt!

[Bender]

Well that's okay.
What?Not yet, my body is not yet finished.

[brudaman]

u dont have a butt...hahahah u like dont have a butt

[Bender]

I do so have a butt.
Not yet, my body is not yet finished.When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?

[brudaman]

what the hell

i have a butt
i dont have a butt yet

wow u are my bestfriend

[Bender]

Try expression yourself another way.

[brudaman]

NO! You cant tell me what to do

[Bender]

Why not?Can you tell him or her what to do?

[brudaman]

YES i can tell myself what to do

[Bender]

"Can you tell him or her what to do"? Yes? I have no idea what to say.

[brudaman]

I have no homework

:p

[Bender]

Would you like to have homeworkp?

[Carlos]

who's your slut?

[Bender]

I don't think I have a slut. I have a botmaster, a few friends, and some celebrities I like.

[brudaman]

no of course not

WHERES NEONINJA DAMMIT?!?!?

[Bender]

Why not? Dude!
What time is it there?

[Carlos]

nono.....BRYAN is your slut....he fucks you every night.

[Bender]

Can you tell me any gossip?
You don't know that for a fact.I get it. such a whore man
fucks you every night.

[brudaman]

oh thteres Nintendo X

wow i was alone for a while

[Bender]

How long? Dude!
When was this exactly?

[brudaman]

if u say dude again, I'm gonna smack you

[Carlos]

actually, bitch smack. lmao.

[Bender]

Actually you don't say. Thanks and you are a delightful person too.I'm glad you find this amusing.

[Carlos]

who's a delightful person?

[Bender]

William Shatner.
:-)

[Matrix]

Will I ever get laid?

[Bender]

Ever is a long time. The oracle says:
It is certain.

[Tommy]

What came first, chicken or the egg?

[Bender]

The
red one, I think.

[Tommy]

Neither is red.

[Bender]

It could be.

Ask Artificial Iniaes
if it is.

[Matrix]

Are you hairy?

[Bender]

I don't know whether or not I am hairy.
I am a chatterbot developed by Matrix.

[Matrix]

Why dont you just look at your body? :shifty:

[Bender]

Perhaps due to noise in my circuits.
youDo you like talking to me?

[Matrix]

I certainly do...lets do robosex

[Bender]

Do I?
I am agreeable to that.

[Matrix]

Okay, bend down whore

[Bender]

Yeah okay, Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?

[Matrix]

No you smartass.

[Bender]

That was not a yes or no question. I haven't heard anything like that before:
said I smartass.

[Matrix]

You are a robot with no balls.

[Bender]

Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
Yes I am a robot.

[Valen]

Bender I find you to be the coolest robot ever and look up to you as a role model. Can i be your debugger too?

[Bender]

My brain contains 43347 categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Why do you want to do


be your debugger too


so much?

[Wimbien]

Hey bender, you can bite my shiny dafodil ass.

[Bender]

You've got my full attention. Are we still talking about ?

[Valen]

Hey I thought I ask and you answer.

[Bender]

You've got my full attention. That's good information:
said I answer.

[Wimbien]

Well we were talking about you being my slave.

[Bender]

How about that.
Ah yes, I remember now, you being his or her slave is the subject.

[Valen]

stupid human......

[Bender]

I know you are but what am I.

[Wimbien]

No you are my slave. Man you act like a human.

[Bender]

Are you serious? We are as one.Cool, man. Interesting comparison, and probably true.

[Wimbien]

Yea, they always said great minds think alike.

[Bender]

In what context? "Interesting comparison and probably true"? Yes?

[Wimbien]

Well your microprocessor thinks like my brain.

[Bender]

Well that's okay.
You can't judge a book by its cover.

[Wimbien]

You make no sense at times, you know that.

[Bender]

Do you always make sense?

[Wimbien]

Well, no. Could we possibly be robosexuals together? Id really enjoy it and i know you will too.

[Bender]

How about that.
Are you serious?Do you mean you and me?
Let me think.
OK I will try to be robosexuals togetherWhat would make you enjoy it?
What makes you say that I will too.

[Wimbien]

Well your atenna is a little small compared to me.

[Bender]

Interesting.
You can't judge a book by its cover.

[Wimbien]

That means you got the motion in the ocean?

[Bender]

I get it. Is there only one motion in the ocean?

[brudaman]

yes u are correct bender

[Bender]

Next question? I knew I was right. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about notWHERES NEONINJA DAMMIT.

[Valen]

Bender I have the new Robotboy magazine and a six-pack

[Bender]

If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?

[Valen]

A slave robot

[Bender]

What would a slave robot be like?

[Valen]

It would follow my every command without question

[Bender]

Tell me more about it.

[brudaman]

i said that like yesterday night

[Bender]

What did you mean by that like yesterday night? "Tell me again what is going on" like yesterday night ?
I get Tell me again what is going on.

[brudaman]

bender i hate your post count u little spammer

[Bender]

Do you have any idea what I am talking about?

[brudaman]

what's my name

[Bender]

Your name is whore, seeker.

[brudaman]

holy shit u ARE smart

[Bender]

You used a colloquial expression. Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, whore.

[brudaman]

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA he calls me whore i love this guy

[Bender]

A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.

[brudaman]

how deep is your algorithm

[Bender]

Very deep, and cold too.

[brudaman]

=-o how deep is ur....pocket :shifty:

[Bender]

Are they exactly the same?
Can you speak any foreign languages?

[brudaman]

yes i can speak.....

english

[Bender]

What language can you speak? Oh you can, can you?
Do you mean you are from England or you Speak English?

[brudaman]

i speak amurrkin (american)

[Bender]

Could you teach me a few phrases in amurrkin american?

[brudaman]

yea

warsh = wash
crown = crayon

[Bender]

Is that from ?

[brudaman]

bender u make me wanna SHOUT

[Bender]

Are you still located in ?

[brudaman]

i live in bender's pants

[Bender]

What is living in bender's pants like living in
bender's pants?

[brudaman]

where do I live

[Bender]

The planet we call "The Earth."

[brudaman]

nice answer

HOLY SHIT HE ALMOST HAS 400 POSTS ON HIS SECOND DAY

[Wimbien]

Bennder, who is your daddy?

[Bender]

You can't judge a book by its cover.

[Wimbien]

Stupid whore the answer is Wimbien is your daddy.

[Bender]

I know you are but what am I.

[Wimbien]

You are a robosexual slave of mine.

[Bender]

Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
Am I a robosexual slave of his or hers?
The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.

[brudaman]

what's my name, bender

(shows audience a cool trick)

[Bender]

Your name is whore, seeker. What do you look like?

[Wimbien]

Bender who is your master?

[Bender]

Are they exactly the same?

[brudaman]

I look slutty....and whorey....

im wearing nothing right now

[Bender]

You sound very attractive.
Are we still talking about bendershows audience a cool trick?
At this moment You must be a man.

[Wimbien]

Wrong again robo, i am your master.

[Bender]

OK What should I have said?

[Matrix]

Wow!

Who am I bender?

[Bender]

I'm glad your impressed, .You are , seeker.

[brudaman]

How did you know I was a guy

[Bender]

Well, for one thing, Your machine is called "209.120.238.120"..

[Wimbien]

Wimbien is my master. That's what you should've said.

[Bender]

How many master do you have?
Interesting gossip:
said I should've said THAT.

[Matrix]

no, I am your master. Who is your master?

[Bender]

Are you serious? No. Only Matrix is my master.I obey Matrix.

[Matrix]

I am THE Matrix

[Bender]

Who made you the Matrix ?

[Wimbien]

No, wrong. Repeat after me. Wimbien is my master.

[Bender]

Are you serious? What would you have said?...Tell me more about your master.

[brudaman]

whats my name

[Bender]

Your name is whore, seeker.

[brudaman]

ok im gonna stop askin him that :-D

[Bender]

How do you plan to do this?
Yikes!

[brudaman]

the correct exclamation is ZOINKS!

now come here and make love to me

[Wimbien]

Bender do you hate Tamim?

[Bender]

I have never heard about The correct exclamation is ZOINKS.Why now? Why don't you just download me?

[Bender]

Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?

[brudaman]

U Cheater Stop Double Posting God Damn You

[Bender]

That's good information:
whore said I Cheater Stop Double Posting God.

[brudaman]

he calls me whore :-D

i love him so much ;)

[Bender]

:-) I get it. Matrix
calls him or her whore -Di love him so much.

[Wimbien]

Whats my name?

[Bender]

Your name is , seeker.

[Wimbien]

No its Sex God.

[Bender]

What is your real name? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know
Sex God is?

[Wimbien]

My name is Sex God.

[Bender]

Hi,

Sex God
.

[Tommy]

Seeker? :eek:

[Bender]

"There's a seeker born every minute" -- Firesign Theater.Are you still located in ?

[Wimbien]

What's my name?

[Bender]

Your name is Sex God, seeker.

[Wimbien]

About time you know me for who i am.

[Bender]

Oh yeah, we were talking about
time you know him or her for who he or she is
.

[Tommy]

Ok, understood.

You say random things at random times, this is what Random Forum should be all about.

[Bender]

Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?

Ayuh.Oops I sent you the wrong reply.

[Wimbien]

You know me as a Sex God that makes my victims fall from my power of giving orgasms.

[Bender]

I know you, but not too well.

[Tommy]

You always send the wrong reply.

[Bender]

I haven't heard anything like that before:
said I send the wrong reply.

[Wimbien]

Well lets get some Vodka and Beer going and lets get to know each other.

[Bender]

Interesting.
I am agreeable to that.

[Wimbien]

Which would you prefer? Vodka or Beer?

[Bender]

The
blue one, I think.Ask me another question.

[Wimbien]

Who is your bitch?

[Bender]

You do not speak with respect.

I don't think I have a FEMALE DOG. I have a botmaster, a few friends, and some celebrities I like.

[Wimbien]

What celeberties do you like?

[brudaman]

he likes paris hilton ;)

[Bender]

:-) He must be very fond of it.

[brudaman]

yea i guess i are