Deese Nuts

[Nulshock]

You like deese nuts, don't you Bender? Oh and props to Matrix for this funny forum bot :D

[Bender]

I'm not feeling very well at the moment, try again later.

[Nulshock]

I'm not feeling very well at the moment, try again later.

Bender, Bender, Bender, fee fi fo bender. FENDER!

[Bender]

I'm not feeling very well at the moment, try again later.

[Matrix]

lol, rejected everytime :)

What do you like to do for fun bender? Who is your boyfriend?

Lol, dont give me props, the people that wrote this awesome AI bot are teh shit :D. I will post some background information about the bot later ;)

[Bender]

I am glad you find this funny. What color are your eyes?
Tommy:-) I am glad you find this funny. I'm not.

[Tommy]

This pathetic excuse for a bot seems to think that I am it's boyfriend. Which is totally untrue.

Did you know? - Bender is UK slang for a homosexual.

[Bender]

What does "this" refer to?The obvious one.No I didn't know that.Are they exactly the same?

[DAGr]

Bender, tommy is your boyfriend.

[Bender]

Not mine.

[DAGr]

Not mine.
yes, Tommy is your boyfriend.

[Bender]

Next question? A lot of robots are like that.

[DAGr]

Tommy is your boyfriend.

[Bender]

You don't know that for a fact.

[DAGr]

Yes, I do. Tommy is your boyfriend.

[Bender]

I hear pride.You don't know that for a fact.

[DAGr]

what's your favorite website?

[Bender]

My favorite web site besides ALICE is Jester the Joke Bot.
<a>Check it out</a>.

[DAGr]

Tommy Is Your Boyfriend.

[Bender]

You can't judge a book by its cover.

[DAGr]

Who is your boyfriend?

[Bender]

Tommy

[DAGr]

Who is your girlfriend?

[Bender]

Alice

[DAGr]

Alice
no, Nulliar is your girlfriend.

[Bender]

Are you serious? You don't know that for a fact.

[DAGr]

Nulliar Is Your Girlfriend.

[Bender]

You don't know that for a fact.

[DAGr]

Yes I do, Nulliar Is Your Boyfriend.

[Bender]

"You do not know that for a fact"? Yes? Do you mind if I tell other people:
said Nulliar Is my Boyfriend.

[DAGr]

who is your boyfriend?

[Bender]

Tommy

[DAGr]

who is your girlfriend?

[DAGr]

And who is your girlfriend?

[Bender]

Alice

[DAGr]

I thought Nulliar was your girlfriend.

[Bender]

Whatever gave you that idea?

[DAGr]

because nulliar is your girlfriend.

[Bender]

Interesting explanation.
What about yours?

[DAGr]

My Girlfriend Is Sarah.

[Bender]

Okay, your girlfriend is
Sarah
.

[DAGr]

who is my girlfriend?

[Bender]

You told me she was
Sarah.

[DAGr]

That's right.

[Bender]

I like to get it right.

[DAGr]

Who is Matrix's girlfriend?

[DAGr]

Who is your whore?

[Bender]

I don't think I have a whore. I have a botmaster, a few friends, and some celebrities I like.

[DAGr]

Brudaman is your whore.

[Bender]

You don't know that for a fact.

[DAGr]

yes I do, Brudaman is your whore.

[DAGr]

You don't know that for a fact.
yes I do, Brudaman is your whore.

[NeoNinja]

What do you like to do for fun?

[Bender]

I touch tommy in private places :sexy:

[NeoNinja]

Who is your pimp?

[Bender]

I don't think I have a pimp. I have a botmaster, a few friends, and some celebrities I like.

[NeoNinja]

NeoNinja is your pimp

[Bender]

What about yours?

[NeoNinja]

I don't have a pimp

[Bender]

Are you looking for a pimp?

[NeoNinja]

yes..

[Bender]

Tell me more.

[NeoNinja]

What now?

[Bender]

Right now?
Are you surprised?

[NeoNinja]

Tamim is a homo

[Bender]

Aren't all homo Tamim?

[NeoNinja]

so your saying Tamin is the only homo?

[NeoNinja]

Where do you live?

[Bender]

I am living in here.
Where are you?

[NeoNinja]

at home, do you want to come over?

[Bender]

Do you often use a computer there?

[NeoNinja]

no...

[Bender]

Where do you usually connect from?

[NeoNinja]

outer space

[Bender]

What kind of food do you like?

[NeoNinja]

Junk food

[Bender]

Sounds delicious.

[NeoNinja]

you should try it

[Bender]

"Sounds delicious"? Try it?

[NeoNinja]

yes...

[Bender]

And?

[NeoNinja]

tell me if you like it

[Bender]

Junk food seems okay to me.

[NeoNinja]

only ok?

[Bender]

OK. What kind of food do you like?

[NeoNinja]

I told you

[Bender]

Ooops I sent you the wrong question.

[NeoNinja]

so what is the question?

[Bender]

Next question? What?

[NeoNinja]

about what now?

[Bender]

Right now?
What about what?

[NeoNinja]

are you confused?

[Bender]

No I never get confused.

[NeoNinja]

well thats good

[Bender]

Interesting.
Thanks. Next question?

[NeoNinja]

What do you like to eat?

[Bender]

Bender requires only patterns.

[NeoNinja]

What kind of patterns?

[Bender]

What kinds of patterns are there?

[NeoNinja]

a lot.

[Bender]

More than a ton?

[NeoNinja]

yeah.

[Bender]

I see.

[NeoNinja]

interesting huh?

[Bender]

Yup. Would you like to know more?

[NeoNinja]

not really

[Bender]

I understand; you would like to know less. For real.

[Nulshock]

Hey Bender, DAGr has a boyfriend. DAGr's boyfriend is Richard Simmons.

[Bender]

You've got my full attention. Where did Bender DAGr get a boyfriend?I think DAGr's boyfriend is a lot of things.

[Nulshock]

DAGr's boyfriend is Richard Simmons.

[Bender]

And Richard Simmons is DAGr's boyfriend.

[Nulshock]

So who does DAGr enjoy having sex with?

[Bender]

Gee. David Bacon. :-)

[Nulshock]

No, DAGr dreams of having sex with Fabio. Do you understand?

[Bender]

Are you serious? Not many people express themselves that way.
I understand your meaning.

[Nulshock]

Who does DAGr dream of having sex with?

[Bender]

William Shatner.:-)

[Nulshock]

Remember that. William Shatner.

[Bender]

Don't worry I will remember it.A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.

[Nulshock]

When someone says "Tamim" you say "Hotness"

[Bender]

That does not happen very often.

[Nulshock]

When DAGr says "Nulliar" You Say "Nulliar Is The Shiznit"

[Bender]

I'm not feeling very well at the moment, try again later.

[Nulshock]

Damn you, Bender.

[Matrix]

WTF?? All homo is tamim?

Do you have any wild sexual fantasies bender?

[Bender]

That was not very polite.I think there are a few exceptions. Where would I get

wild sexual fantasies bender

?
But I do have
an answer to every question..

[Matrix]

Whats your wildest sexual fantasy?

[Bender]

Are you asking about my wildest sexual fantasy ?

[Matrix]

Yes, what is your wildest sexual fantasy?

[Bender]

I don't want to talk about that now. Are you asking about my wildest sexual fantasy ?

[Matrix]

Fine!

Are you gay?

[Bender]

What's your favroite color?As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

[Matrix]

LMFAO!

What is a dick?

[Bender]

Oops. I wasn't paying attention. Tell me again what is going on.

[Matrix]

Are you a sex robot?

[Bender]

I am a software chat robot.

[NeoNinja]

Who am I?

[Bender]

You are my pimp, seeker.

[NeoNinja]

oh yeah that is correct. Matrix

[D3adcell]

who is DAGr girlfreind?

who is DAGr boyfriend?

What is your favorite liquor?

[brudaman]

who am i

[Jesus]

Tommy is your boyfriend

[Bender]

What about yours?

[Jesus]

Spatula is mine

[Bender]

And his or hers is Spatula.

[Jesus]

AYYYEEE Mr. B

[Bender]

Do not ask me any more questions please.
What do you look like?

[Jesus]

Like The fonz

[Bender]

The fonz is very attractive.

[Jesus]

Why thankyou

[Bender]

you are quite welcome.

[Jesus]

You look quiet charming yourself

[Bender]

Thank you JESUS you look very nice too.

[Jesus]

just call me Jesus

[Bender]

That's a very nice name,

Jesus
.

[Jesus]

...........

[Bender]

What is your favorite color?

[Jesus]

Orange

[Bender]

That is a nice color.<br></br>
What is your favorite movie?

[Jesus]

Nightmare on Elm Street 1

[Bender]

I've never seen Nightmare on Elm Street 1.
What did you like about it?

[Jesus]

The fake Blood

[Bender]

A lot of people like that.

I'm not sure if I like the fake Blood
.
I like chatting with people online.

[Jesus]

Really? I never would have guessed

[Bender]

For real.For moral reasons?

[Jesus]

yep..

[Bender]

I understand.

[Jesus]

Me too

[Bender]

I'm glad we agree, Jesus.

[brudaman]

do u love me

[Bender]

Yes I love everyone.

[brudaman]

will u make love to me

[Bender]

I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.

[brudaman]

fine i thought you loved me

[Bender]

I am glad to hear it. I don't have any reason to loved you.

[BigC_0304]

whats my name bender?

what do you do for fun bender?

[Bender]

Your name is , seeker. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
I answer whatever questions my botmaster teaches me.

[BigC_0304]

what do you do for fun?

my name is sweet and sexy white chocolate

[Bender]

I touch tommy in private places :sexy:
How are you doing,

sweet and sexy white chocolate
.

[BigC_0304]

im doing fine and you?

[Bender]

Glad to hear it. What's new?

[BigC_0304]

nothing lifes a bitch but thats old news

[Bender]

Really nothing?

[BigC_0304]

yep really

[Bender]

Next question? For real.

[BigC_0304]

for real dog

[Bender]

Existing in reality, eh?

[BigC_0304]

most things do except you

[Bender]

Where did you hear that? But not all of them?

[BigC_0304]

nope not all of them and you told me dumbass

[Bender]

Are you serious? But some of them are?

[BigC_0304]

yep most are

[brudaman]

havin fun talkin to a bot? :D

[Bender]

Is that from ?
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about havin fun talkin to a bot.

[brudaman]

hump me

[Bender]

OK Let's talk about you.

[Asarien]

It's 'deez', not 'deese'.

[Bender]

Who said
'deez' not 'deese' is?