PDA

View Full Version : From tears to a smile


Kay B
09-17-2006, 01:37 AM
Hook
A story that'll bring a tear, But than it'll form a smile
Lost the one he loved, left to mourn awhile
He'd always sworn denial, Time to open his heart
Alone in the dark, how's it feels to be close n than part?

Verse 1
Lemme start from scratch n explain my year of hell
Went from total happiness, to too much fear to tell
I remember it so clearly aswell....
I gazed in her eye's, stared as she drank the booze
Too scared to make a move, is it a mistake to lose?
It'd make the news, a thug in pearly rocks n burbery socks
Just wouldnt look right next to her beauty n curly locks
Time sped up like i turned my watch, both stood ya see
Far too good for me, im jus what the hood should be
A ghetto princess, nah ya see she wouldn't suit the part
Ima change, throw off the hoody, cause in a suit im smart
But in a crew at heart, This girl was a reason to transform
On Winter evenings a place to keep the hands warm
Through a sandstorm, id conform n cover her eye's
Can't reveal myself, but won't form anouther discuise
She's my lover no lies, togeather forever n never apart
She Could never be taken, see she's forever at heart
Id correct her flow sadly In 04 i had to let her go
I'll never forget her tho....In time god had ta select her so

Hook x2

Verse 2
Awoke one morning to the sound of her screams
Doctors apointment had they really found what it seems
Pale faced, like she'd had this fear for some weeks
"What's wrong babe" whipping the tears from her cheeks
What had been said, damage could be repaired indeed
Clinging to my chest, "babe why you so scared to leave"?
Calmed her down, arm around her again repeatin what's wrong?
Started speakin as she sat shivering even with lots on
Explained the horrible news she'd recieved so fast
"See I may not be back, any day now could be my last"
"What do you mean, why would you not return"?
Looked me in the eye.... "sit back kev you've got alot to learn"
Time for the truth, i had'a scan n the doctors found a clot
It fatal and can't even be cured with a million pounds the lot
I was given two weeks to live, chose to spend each day with you
Telling you how i feel., Well this very action say's it too
"When did you see the doc", How long is left, ima help you through
The apointment was two weeks ago.....There's nothing else to do
So this is ya last day......... anytime ya could pass away?
It's sad but true please just hold me kev put that glass away
Held her in my arms, her eye's slowely moving togeather
A tear dropped down my cheek repeating i love you only forvever
Wisperd her name, felt sad but she was finally outta pain
She could now live her rightfull life as gods angel without the strain

Hook x2

Verse 3
For years id block out the image of her dyien in my arms
Didnt belive i could go on with life always relyin on her charms
But now it's time to open up, finally time to explain myself
Fell into depression, took six months to regain my health
She'd wanna see me smile, wouldnt wanna feel my tears
It's a message to all speak out, don't conceal your fears
First time revealed in years, the one i love passed in my sight
But the frown greatly turned to a smile fast on one night
See i Found a note she wrote, n this im supposed to say
"Don't mourn my death, yet remember my life"
N it still makes me happy that she wrote in this way
Each morning i smile as i wake n stare at her face in a frame
"Gods number one angel"?
................She certainly made her stake for the claim, Ya see

Hook x2

""Never mourn my death, i'll be happy so jus remember my life" - Kay B

Brady
09-17-2006, 03:20 AM
A little depressing...

You made everything rhyme and fit nicely though. It reminds me of Eminem.

Kay B
09-17-2006, 03:57 AM
Is it cos i is white?....


Thanks for the feedback :)

Boggy700
09-17-2006, 09:42 AM
Only a few things I will mention.
Both of your "than"s should be spelled 'then'.
And perhaps you could keep better track of the syllables in each rhyming line.
Also, you might want to try being a little more adventurous in your rhyme style.

But much like your earlier 'Confusion Of Thoughts', the message overcomes these minor details.
You certainly have a lot of talent for writing interesting stories.
Thank you for the enjoyable read!

Kay B
09-17-2006, 01:41 PM
Thanks for the feed, and my spelling has ALWAYS sucked and been a problem lol, thanks again

Brady
09-27-2006, 08:05 AM
Did I say Eminem? I meant Eman.