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View Full Version : Expected to fall...3 part tale


Kay B
07-01-2007, 09:58 PM
This is something i wrote up really quickly took me about 50 minutes

Expected to fall

Part 1
On the day of birth, predicted trouble would spread
Came to the world a struggle, blood on his head
Others had said, another child to spread the name
Family full of convicts locked up alone dead in chains
No head with brains, would either be dealing drugs
Stealing from mugs, or 6ft deep feeling the mud
"Here he is love", passed into an outstretched mothers arms
Gourgous blond hair, blue eyes and every other charm
Raised in a broken home, lonely mother broke alone
Only heard his father, in an angry spoken tone
His coat was toned, mixed with colors in a washin machine
Everyday watching his mum cry, this wasn't a dream
Every deposits a scheme, minimum paid homework jobs
Laying hungry each night in bed alone she sobs
Struck with abit of luck, she was offered a house
Tried to find me to explain the news, i was off where abouts

Part 2
Taught a million lesson's, accept when in school
Skipped classes, failed courses just expected to fall
Stood next to the wall, second fight of the day
Never had a father around, got his excitement this way
But despite what they say, deep down he was soft
Just with the wrong crowd he hung around at a cost
Moved to a rough estate, began to grow with the streets
Couldn't back down, they'd only know that your weak
Thrown on his feet, group of boys with a special bond
Walked the streets, others throwing threats upon
The vets had gone, streets desperate for a new force
Dreams of being rich, massive house and a blue Porsche
Laughing of scraps, left with broken bones and cuts
Loving ever second, he finally wasn't alone as such
Best friend by my side, a double act for life together
Or so he thought, remember the movement of that knife forever
Blood stained white shirt slowly turning read
Holding him up screaming aloud, feelin his burning head
Attending a funeral, made me wanna change my ways
But the fact no-one had faith in his..is what I'll explain today

Part 3
Despite learning from a past of mistakes an pain
People around him still expect to fix the same mistakes again
Moving from home to home, pulling his bags around
Even those closest believed he'd be dragged back down
Back to a life of a fights and crime, that life aint fine
They wont believes he's moving away as he bides his time
Working endless hours to provide his family with food
So tired he'd be moody, some couldnt handle his mood
Claiming he's back on drugs and he'll learn the way
The fact his own still have no faith hurts n still burns today
Desperate to prove them all wrong, show he's learnt
They still see him as a cocky kid...they don't know he's hurt

Sinny
07-01-2007, 10:00 PM
Mm.. very nice KB :-*

Kronz
07-01-2007, 10:45 PM
Though I don't much listen to rap, these lyrics are really very good.

Kay B
07-01-2007, 10:59 PM
Thanks to both for reading

Boggy700
07-02-2007, 08:37 AM
I'm sure I've said this before, but while the content is good (especially the ending,) it has a significant number of spelling mistakes and other grammatical errors which tend to interrupt the flow as I find myself having to re-read lines because I am thrown off track by inadvertent mismeanings.

I also think it could stand to have a lot more multisyllabic rhymes.

But like I say, the story is really good, as usual.

Kay B
07-02-2007, 05:56 PM
Alot more multi sylabble rymes? its hard enough putting two multi's per line (unless ur viper than u find a way of making every a damn multi)...lol

Thanks for the feedback and yeah i corrected all spellings on other sites but i was too lazy to right click ect on each mistake here so i just posted

Thanks again though

Hisham
07-03-2007, 06:15 AM
Like I already told you, very nice storytelling piece. :)