Depressed

[koten]

Well… I’ve been making threads in the madhouse for a while now… But I think it’s time I actually post something people will take seriously.

I’m depressed. I don’t feel motivated to do anything anymore, I don’t feel like anything in the world matters anymore, I feel like I’m going nowhere.

I’m lonely. It seems like everyone I know is finding happiness. My younger sister recently found herself her first boyfriend while both of my best friends have found girlfriends for themselves. I on the otherhand, still find myself alone.

The one thing that I want more than anything in the world is to be in a relationship. To have a good strong commitment to another person. To be with someone and to be able to share my thoughts ad feelings honestly with another person. But I feel like that will never happen. Each day that goes by I feel more isolated, more alone. I can’t deal with it anymore. I’m so lonely… I’m losing my mind

I just want to be happy… but I feel like I’ll always be alone… it’s how it’s always been…

[dysury]

This place is not conducive to happiness or to feeling social. I'd suggest buying a few bags of cats and getting a prescription of Lexapro until you wander into a Nora Ephron movie. Finding one person that you love that just happens to love you back in the same way, well that's not really something easily found.

[Gummy]

Well… I’ve been making threads in the madhouse for a while now… But I think it’s time I actually post something people will take seriously.

I’m depressed. I don’t feel motivated to do anything anymore, I don’t feel like anything in the world matters anymore, I feel like I’m going nowhere.

I’m lonely. It seems like everyone I know is finding happiness. My younger sister recently found herself her first boyfriend while both of my best friends have found girlfriends for themselves. I on the otherhand, still find myself alone.

The one thing that I want more than anything in the world is to be in a relationship. To have a good strong commitment to another person. To be with someone and to be able to share my thoughts ad feelings honestly with another person. But I feel like that will never happen. Each day that goes by I feel more isolated, more alone. I can’t deal with it anymore. I’m so lonely… I’m losing my mind

I just want to be happy… but I feel like I’ll always be alone… it’s how it’s always been…

Bro, if you don't mind me calling you that, this may be a cliche? But honestly man, you will find someone that you will commit to/love/cherish and all that good stuff. Give it time, if you rush by quickly hooking up with someone without completely finding out who they are, then that can be a mistake. Just build up your confidence and be yourself all the time when you are around females that you find interest to. Make them feel comfortable around you, and make small hints that you want to be more than a friend.
My current girlfriend is actually my second, and surely the last, I hope. I'm not trying to rub it in, but I totally understand what you meant by your post. My first one shouldn't even count, but anyways, I felt how you are feeling now before. I used to be alone and wanted to be with someone. I decided to do something about it, I got my two balls together and had a meeting, and we decided to look for someone. It took me like.... a few years or so.

All I can really say is that, you still have a lot of time to find who you are looking for. Make sure they are not drunk though. :wave:

I don't know, I hope I made sense.


Happiness will come, and its gonna hit you hard.

FLIRT AWAY!



I'm so tired, I forgot what I wrote.
But I hope you feel better.

[Skull Kid]

I know the feeling too well, but you can't let it get the best of you.

Perhaps you should go out to places and socialize as much as you can. That special someone will show up someday.

[Gummy]

Don't go to a gay bar.

[Lucent Beam]

Let me just say that the answer to your problem is not a relationship.

In my experience...
I dated someone who could have said what you posted word for word.
At first, everything was just dandy because he was so happy about it and 'found what he wanted' etc. But it was like a drug to him. Eventually, when the drug-like effect of the relationship wore off, it wasn't enough to keep him happy all the time, though he swore he was. Though he wouldn't admit to it straightforwardly, he went right back to be depressed. If I were naive, I would have thought I was doing something wrong, since he wasn't happy anymore, but I could tell that there was a bigger picture. His issues became suffocating and [insert long break up drama spanning over the course of 2 months here] we split. He took it hard and did all the threatening suicide stuff and then harassed me very badly over the next month and a half to the point where my mom would cry on the phone to me asking me to call the police. All the while, he simultaneously spouting crap that if we only were together again, he'd be the happiest ever, to which I didn't even need to point out that that wasn't true because it didn't work the first time.

Why retell my lame story?
Because if you are depressed, YOU need help. A relationship will not solve any problems. In fact, it probably will only create more.
Worse than being alone is loving someone and dragging them down with you. You want to be at your best in a relationship, so if you are really depressed then get professional help, not a girlfriend.

I repped you with this, but I know a bunch of times you've told me how unhelpful I was to you and all this stuff online... but when a person is in that deep depression, it's not like everyone can magically help that or know exactly what you need. Depression is serious and if your problems are that hard, please talk to a professional.

[D3adcell]

It all depends on where you are looking man. You can't let things like that get you down too much.

I went 21 years without a relationship or anything and to be honest I kind of did have a fear that one person I liked would end up not liking me back or something happening. But oh well I waited. Though I did get down sometimes because yeah it does feel lonely especially when all of your friends have girlfriends and are too busy with them to even hang out with you. But you just have to make do because what else can you do really?

No sense in just getting in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship either man. You could have a girlfriend and you still wouldn't be happy. I could have had a relationship a long time a go if i wanted to, but every girl i had a chance with I never imagined myself being happy with. So it takes some time and you have to do some searching, but do not jump into anything too soon. You are young and have a long life a head of you. Maybe there is even someone in front of your face that you don't even realize yet.

Just have to tough it out, and I know it might be hard to do. Right now you feel unimportant and like nobody cares about you and your life is meaningless basically. Though once you do meet that person and are really in love with them (and they love you back) then it will all be worthwhile and you will look back and realize that all the things you have done in your life were kind of a chain reaction to you meeting that person.

Don't get so down about it man, its not worth feeling shitty over. Do what you enjoy and makes you happy, play games do whatever, time is on your side. I used to feel somewhat the same way as you, though things worked out for me in the end and now I am pretty much as happy as I could ever be. I look back and things and realize that if my life was any different maybe none of this would be happening right now, I wouldn't change a thing.

Patience is a virtue, and its very rewarding. Stick it out.

[JasonXe]

Well… I’ve been making threads in the madhouse for a while now… But I think it’s time I actually post something people will take seriously.

I’m depressed. I don’t feel motivated to do anything anymore, I don’t feel like anything in the world matters anymore, I feel like I’m going nowhere.

I’m lonely. It seems like everyone I know is finding happiness. My younger sister recently found herself her first boyfriend while both of my best friends have found girlfriends for themselves. I on the otherhand, still find myself alone.

The one thing that I want more than anything in the world is to be in a relationship. To have a good strong commitment to another person. To be with someone and to be able to share my thoughts ad feelings honestly with another person. But I feel like that will never happen. Each day that goes by I feel more isolated, more alone. I can’t deal with it anymore. I’m so lonely… I’m losing my mind

I just want to be happy… but I feel like I’ll always be alone… it’s how it’s always been…

I use to be like you until my pysh. prof told me that if you really want it then you'll eventually get it. Within a month I got a gf and that motivated me to get a job (funny huh?). GL to you and don't give up. The girl your looking for is not going to come to you so if you make a friend as a girl then persue it to make into something else.

[HPK]

I think Lucent and D3adcell said it best, but I'm still going to add some input.

I can assure you that you will not always be alone, koten. In fact, I don't even think you're alone right now. You might feel alone, though, considering that your friends (and sister) seem to be in relationships. You then assessed yourself and saw that you didn't have someone to love in the same way. You may want to be in a relationship right now, but I wouldn't recommended hooking up with anyone.
From the sounds of things, all you really want is a good friend. You want someone you can be completely honest with and can share your thoughts with? I don't know about you, but I'm completely honest with my friends. Granted, I have few friends. But it's quality over quantity in those regards.

I was in a similar situation when I was 17. I had gotten out of a relationship and I hadn't taken well. I really liked the girl, but she called it off after only a few days. I overreacted, and went into some odd depression. During that time, I felt incredibily lonely. I no longer felt a majority of my friends were actually my friends (which turned out to be true) and I ended up getting into another relationship. We both used each other as rebounds, so it fell apart about as fast as it came together.
Eventually, I just stopped caring. I just did what I felt was right. I kind of became "anti-social." I played an assload of video games, watched a lot of stand up comedy. I just kept doing things that had always made me happy. I would still talk to people and things would seem okay. Eventually, things did become better. I was happy with myself.
Shortly after that, I became friends with a girl. She seemed pretty cool and we got along great. We had a lot of the same interests, but different opinions on things. It felt good talking to someone new. Well, now that I'm 20, that girl has been my girlfriend for 3 years. I never looked for another relationship after the rebound one and she wasn't looking for a relationship either (she was considering becoming a nun after graduating high school).

So, koten, I say avoid a relationship right now. You just need to fix yourself. Make yourself happy before trying to be a boyfriend. Start talking with new people (if they start talking about stuff you enjoy), keep doing the things that have always made you happy.....or hell, try new things. The depression will go away at some point. I hope you start feeling better about yourself soon, though.

[gibmonster]

I will echo what others have said and say that you need a friend first. I've been in a relationships whilst depressed, and I can tell you that a relationship is not the answer. You need to fix yourself first before you commit to someone on that level. If your friends aren't spending much time with you. Meet new people or arrange a "guys night out" or something. Those work wonders for me. Especially since I have a very long commute to university and couple that with an insane workload and isolation really kicks in. As someone else has stated. Internet forums aren't the best thing for socialising. Go out and take a breather.

I hope we have been helpful.

[Ihsiin]

And, amid the torrent of good will and encouragement:

Ah, depression. When all things become unimportant, when you turn away your food and turn to your bed, though sleep won't cure you. It hangs over you like the darkest of clouds, squeezing the hope from your soul as smoke squeezes the air from your lungs. Embrace the depression with open arms! Hold your soul to the hateful fire as you feel it burn and crack away, and torn to pieces bear your soul with pride! Come, depression, and welcome, Juliet wills it so! They say that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, and those who have never loved sagely agree, "But not I" screams he has lost. And then, when your soul is destroyed and your mind driven to madness, then... the depression is gone, just as suddenly as it came. Farewell, depression, and come back soon; I'll keep the fire warm for you.

[Smokey]

chin up, be happy here Koten i always am

[Milly]

Before you can enter into a relationship with someone you have to be in a good place yourself. If you arent it wont work... Speaking from experience. Whilst being in a relationship can be great , It will happen, Im a beliver in the whole there is someone for everyone, and It will happen for you. Try and not become too depressed in this thoughts, try and make yourself happy and the rest will follow..

[kaphwan]

You need a hug. I'm serious.

In the long run, try and find something that gives you fulfillment besides a 'relationship'. I took up guitar; you'll find something that suits you over time. This is needed so that when you do meet someone who you're meant to be with, it'll be a healthy relationship instead of a one-sided codependency.

[/thinking he knows stuff but is only 18 :emo:]

[The Dude]

I garentee a girlfriend will not make your life any better. If your not happy with your life without one, there is no way you will be happy with one. In fact in the long run you will be far worse off. You need self-esteem and confidence before you can have a girlfriend. Lucent gave a perfect example in her post. Having a girlfriend or a significant other enriches your life. She will not add anything that you already do not have.

You are only 19. Shit, I'm only 22 and pretty much everyone else here isnt much past 25. At our ages we should be having fun, doing things that we love to do. If something in your life isn't making you happy then change it! Be honest with yourself and then you will know exactly what you should be doing (look at IEFP's last thread if you need some insperation, it takes huge balls to accept yourself)

If you are depressed, please get help. I nearly lost one of my best friends a few years ago due to depression and I doubt she would be alive today if she didn't get help.

[goku2057]

I don't really have much to add, because most of the people here have already said it.

You need to build your confidence. And each person has a different way of doing that. Personally, when I'm feeling a tad depressed, I like to get my mind off of whatever it is. If it's how lonely I am, I'll go hang out with friends, of get hardcore competitive in some game. It doesn't take the depression away, but it gets your mind off it for a while. And healing begins when you stop thinking about whatever it is.


I was in a similar place to you a few months ago. I felt like rash because I didn't think anyone like me. I've always been the one to date around, but most of the girls wound up shitting on my chest. And not in the good way.

So, I closed myself off and hung out with friends almost exclusively. I didn't try to find a relationship. I figured I was missing whatever gene I needed to have a happy life/relationship. After hanging out with friends for a while, I started feeling better about myself, because they accepted me for who I was. I didn't have to try to be some superficial alpha male. I could be the witty, nerdy kid that I am.

Basically. Find a group of people that accept you for who you are. After you do that, you'll feel better about yourself.

As far as the relationship thing goes, it'll happen when it happens. I've been pooped on enough from going after a serious relationship that I know how hard it is. Have you ever heard the saying a watched pot never boils? Its the same things with relationships. The best ones spring up when you aren't expecting them.

Before I met Christine I had given up on finding someone. I just hung out with friends, and I was content with that. One day we just clicked, and from there...yeah.

[Fiend]

I agree with Lucent, Deadcell, etc.... All that needs to be said is said, but I feel compelled to use my hamburger analogy.

You don't feel like a complete hamburger, so you think you need the patty to go with your buns and condiments. You don't need someone else to be your patty man, YOU are supposed to be the whole damn burger.

What you need is your side of fries, someone to compliment you, not complete you.

I hope all goes well, although it seems now things aren't going well, before you know it (hopefully), things will start working out.

[Bryan]

I'll move to New Jersey, you sexy bitch!

[MaceSin]

Welcome to the party where the fun is nonexistent.