Text Battles

[Black Dragon37]

On hearing that there used to a forum for text battling here, I figured that there should be a thread for it. Just to rekindle what I... missed. Yeah.

So, while I sit back, watch, learn, and (maybe) join in...

START BATTLING!

[Viper]

*cracks knuckles* Let's knock some rust off. Don't worry, I'll go easy on you.


Look what we got here, a battle rap thread by Black Dragon,
With a size 10 font in bold text he says to "start battling".
But I got a question before we get very far,
Is that Homer in your avatar with surfboard shaped candy bar?
Now I normally bring heat but instead I'm just chillin',
Because I usually don't take out such an innocent civilian.
This isn't Murder She Wrote, I just prefer to leave hope,
I know he takes notes, see the words in his quote?
"No contest" is what Black Dragon said at arraignment,
Guilty of wrong forum, Moving the thread to Entertainment.

[Gegenki]

What the hell was that crap?
You cant call that rap
Cause its rhythm and rhyme
You got to rhyme all the time

My lines are short
sounds more like grime
but unlike you,
I ain't doin no crime

Its a crime to humanity
We're screaming insanity
no-verse with more vanity
An unholy calamity :p


If you wana to write rhyme,

Please! I beg to god,

As u write each line
Make it decent every time

- Nothing rhymes quite like grime
- How the hell are you supposed to convey rhythm in text
- We should get some songs and say read to the beat of this

Have you guys in US heard UK grime? I think its damn awesome tbh

[Ihsiin]

How about some imabic pentametre, chaps?

[Gegenki]

oh yea, good idea

[Ihsiin]

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
Oh no! It is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom:
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Brap, brap!!

[Jonny Royal]

One fish, two fish.
Red fish, blue fish.

[Ihsiin]

We need more people if we're going to satisfactorily derail this thread.

[Boggy700]

Look what we got here, a battle rap thread by Black Dragon,
With a size 10 font in bold text he says to "start battling".
But I got a question before we get very far,
Is that Homer in your avatar with surfboard shaped candy bar?
Now I normally bring heat but instead I'm just chillin',
Because I usually don't take out such an innocent civilian.
This isn't Murder She Wrote, I just prefer to leave hope,
I know he takes notes, see the words in his quote?
"No contest" is what Black Dragon said at arraignment,
Guilty of wrong forum, Moving the thread to Entertainment.
You think you're a God, but I'd battle you with a cattle prod.
Mad cow, your rhymes are randomised like the songs on an iPod.
A shuffle. A two-step. You've four left feet.
No twelve-step program will help keep the beat.
No metronome. Only your body clock,
Old timer. Mouthful of pendulous cock.
I'd never seen a cow suck off a horse.
But a cock is a cock, of course, of course.

You nibble the forceful horse's foreskin with a wide-toothed grin.
An alarm clock rings, and the horse kicks you in the face and says,
"You only paid for the hour, cocksucker." and runs away.

If you wana to write rhyme,

Please! I beg to god,

As u write each line
Make it decent every time
Sure, but good advice is hollow if your own pill, you are not willing to swallow.
While you wallow in mediocrity, follow my wisdom as though I were Socrates, and save face.
Know that you know nothing, instead of chasing your tail like a dog at a snail's pace.

- How the hell are you supposed to convey rhythm in text
It's easy. Poets do it fluently.
(Using meter, form and syllable stress.)
Whereas you write quite incongruently,
With words worth less than some afterbirth mess.